Yeti no like "The Polar Express"

He say "I know I'm a year late on this, but Jesus Christ, that was the scariest fucking holiday movie I have seen since 'I Saw Mommy Felching Santa Claus'. I mean, seriously, what were they thinking? Between the creepy-as-all-fuck black girl and Santa as Stalin, this shit is gonna give me bad dreams for months. Fuck you, Robert Zemeckis and Tom Hanks. Fuck you both."

Drudge defends Cheney's boom-stickage

Me read about human Vice President shooting another man while bird hunting, and some other humans get mad when he try to keep it secret. This make Matt Drudge angry (being a human of strong moral fiber, he no think that humans should ever question the actions of the current administration), so he look for similar things that Democrats has done, and come up with this nugget:

FLASHBACK: Dem Leader Reid Hid Stroke News For 3 days...

Moral of the story: Starfucker Drudge thinks Reid's stroke not being reported is as bad as the VP shooting someone in the face and trying to hide it. As Yeti would say, that's some pretty fucked up shit right there, yo.

Bonafide ride step aside my johnson

Me get back from another long hike w/ Yeti and Sasquatch, and see many strange and beautiful things. Me post some thoughts to help readers decide if they want to visit those places...

Sebastian, FLA
Me no like Sebastian that much, it seemed to Bigfoot that the whole town was about to fall apart. Also, all the Rush Limbaugh bumper stickers make Bigfoot feel uncomfortable and politically out of place.

Sasquatch Say:
"The Wal-Mart we snuck into was the fattest place I have ever seen, I never knew capri pants came in a women's size 48. But the dolphins were cool."

Yeti Say:
"Like Miami without the money. Or glamour. Or scenery. Or clubs. Or any decent reason to stay. But the dolphins were cool."

Orlando, FLA
Me like Orlando, the people there reminded me of me, since so many of them were hairy and smelly. Me also like Universal Studios, altho Bigfoot think the Jimmy Neutron ride might have been overrated.

Sasquatch Say:
"Orlando seriously creeped me out, was like the world's biggest state fair, only w/ uglier people, and no pig-judging contest. And what's with that smell?"

Yeti Say:
"The most white trash I have seen in one place since the last time NASCAR came to town. But at least the food sucked."

New York, NY
Me like New York, Bigfoot would move here if renting a cave wasn't so expensive. Me also like Central Park, the humans in the public bathrooms were friendly and not wearing any pants.

Sasquatch Say:
"I love NYC, and hate you for not moving us here. Is $14,000 a month for a 300 square foot 5th avenue cave really that unreasonable?

Yeti Say:
"What's not to like? Between the Dim Sum, Pizza, and Black and Whites, I ate like a fucking pig and had room to spare. I also stood in front of the Dakota building singing "Give Peace a Chance" for 7 hours straight hoping Yoko would come down to say hi, but no such luck."