We outty like...whatever.

On the road again
Bigfoot can't wait to get on the road again
The life I love is going hiking with my friends
Bigfoot can't wait to get on the road again

On the road again
Takin' Sasquatch places she has never been
We'll see things that will disturb us to the end
Bigfoot can't wait to get on the road again.

On the road again
Like a travelin' freakshow we go down the highway
We're the best of friends
Killing all the humans we see on our way
And our way
Is on the road again
Bigfoot can't wait to get on the road again
Cover ourselves in feces any time we can
Bigfoot can't wait to get on the road again

On the road again
Like a hairy posse we go down the highway
We're the best of friends
Killing all the humans we see on our way
And our way
Is on the road again

Bigfoot can't wait to get on the road again
Me hope to see a world that Yeti will offend
Bigfoot can't wait to get on the road again
Sasquatch can't wait to get on the road again
Yeti can't wait to get on the road again

Yee-ha!

Bill Gates can suck Yeti's bean

Yeti's Xbox 360 died. A few days ago, he bring it to Bigfoot's cave so he could "get his Gotham on", but when he plug it in, the pretty green light on the front turned red and scary. As soon as he see it he make a strange choking noise and then go into what humans call a catatonic state, and has not moved since then. Except his fingers, which are still moving all the time (Bigfoot think he is playing the Xbox in his mind, which make me sad, but also jealous, since the games might be really good).

Me hope it gets fixed soon. Yeti excrement can only be prepared so many ways.

Yeti hung like vanilla bean

Bigfoot no have anything interesting to blog about, so me find another Yeti IM conversation and post for humans to read.

Steve:
Hi, my name is Steve. How can I be of assistance today?

Ab_Snow:
Hi "Steve." I'm having a problem with one of your products.

Steve:
And which product was that?

Ab_Snow:
That would be the "Enlarginator 2000"

Steve:
Ah. One of our more popular items. So what seems to be the issue?

Ab_Snow:
Well, it doesn't seem to fit properly.

Steve:
Yeah, we get that a lot. Have you tried loosening the the U-joint at the base of the unit?

Ab_Snow:
Um...I am not sure if loosening anything will solve my problem.

Steve:
Not sure I am following?

Ab_Snow:
The issue isn't that the unit is too tight. Quite the opposite, actually.

Ab_Snow:
Hello? You still there?

Steve:
Yes, sorry about that. It's just that we don't get that problem a lot, so I had to check w/ my supervisor.

Ab_Snow:
How can you not get this complaint a lot? This thing is friggin' huge!

Steve:
Actually, sir, this is our smallest model.

Ab_Snow:
...

Ab_Snow:
Are you fucking with me Steve?

Steve:
Sir?

Ab_Snow:
I said, are you fucking with me?

Steve:
No sir!

Ab_Snow:
Because you seem to be implying that my Yeti-hood isn't up to snuff.

Steve:
Never!

Ab_Snow:
Let me ask you something, "Steve" (if that is your real name). Why the fuck do you think I purchased something called the "Enlarginator" in the first place?

Steve:
Sir, I apologize if I offended. I did not mean to imply anything about your...Yeti-hood?

Ab_Snow:
Yeah, whatever. Y'know, this is the same shit I got from the "Longitude" people, but at least their product doesn't chew up batteries like a motherfucker...

Drudge hates Dems

Me read yet another funny headline on Drudge:

DEMOCRATS PLAN TO DESTROY ALITO

THE DRUDGE REPORT has learned from exclusive sources that Senate Democrats have put into place a plan that includes one last push to take down the nomination of Judge Samuel A. Alito as he heads into his confirmation hearing next week.... MORE... Senate Democrats intend to zero in on Alito’s alleged membership to an organization, a witness will claim, that was sexist, racist and out-of-the-mainstream on a variety of issues... MORE...

Yeti say "I wonder if these are the same 'exclusive sources' who told him that Kerry was having an affair and that human miners in West Virginia were all found alive (2 other stories he supposedly 'broke'). This guy is to journalism what Michael Brown was to disaster relief, but at least Brown had the guts to actually step down when was unmasked as an incompetent. And what's with the fucking hat? Someone should tell him that the kid in high school who wore the Fedora was not the prom king, if you know what I mean. Which, judging by the slack-jawed look you are giving me, you don't..."

Wash my love

A few nights ago, me wake up to strange sound coming from outside the cave. When me go to investigate, me find Goatsucker playing a washboard in front of the lake, under the moonlight. Me ask why he was playing, he say that he is playing for "all those who cannot play for themselves."

The next night, me wake up again to the same noise. Me go outside and find Goatsucker playing the washboard again. When me ask why, he say is is playing for "all the people who refuse to hear the truth."

Bigfoot hear the same noise again the next night, and go outside to find Goatsucker still playing the washboard under the moonlight. Me ask why, he say he is playing for "all the people who know the truth but are afraid to speak it."

Last night me hear the noise again, and go out to find Goatsucker playing the washboard. Me then grabbed the washboard, break it into small pieces, and throw it into the lake. Enlightening humans is not worth losing sleep over, IMHO.